The Grand Finale

“I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that’s...

Tue, 07 May 2013 12:39:00 +0800

“I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that’s really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.” - Ned Vizzini, It’s kind of a funny story

Sometimes I feel that life is so tiring / upsetting and that i’ve made so many wrong decisions...

Tue, 07 May 2013 01:02:00 +0800

Sometimes I feel that life is so tiring / upsetting and that i’ve made so many wrong decisions that a part of me secretly hopes for bad things to happen to me. Sometimes I’m so tired that I really wish to end it all and say “Take me, Lord” so that I can go to heaven, and hopefully, start afresh. Hahahah.

But thats just me being selfish and silly. God has placed so many ppl in my life who love and care for me, and in a role to instill hope and life in others. heh. I know I should be strong, and optimistic. But sometimes i’m rly just too tired of everything. And maybe the optimism i’ve had all this while was just me being delusional.. Ok anw this is just me being emo manda so don’t worry too much about me peeps i’ll be ok :) (happens at night when i’m just dying of boredom haha)

AND TO MY CLOSE FRIENDS (you know who you areeeee) RLY MISS ALL OF YOU AND DYING TO KETCHUP WITH ALL OF YOU.

“You’re my oldest friend! You’re the girl that I’ve...

Sat, 04 May 2013 00:55:41 +0800

“You’re my oldest friend! You’re the girl that I’ve loved longer than i can remember.. No matter what wall you put up, i know that means something to you.”

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Fri, 03 May 2013 23:51:53 +0800

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Fri, 03 May 2013 23:50:43 +0800

SO TIRED RIGHT NOW. today wasn’t how i expected it’d be like (not at all, really) except...

Fri, 03 May 2013 00:21:48 +0800

SO TIRED RIGHT NOW.

today wasn’t how i expected it’d be like (not at all, really) except for the part where i did manage to get a haircut & the part which i met huiqi and went for rly yummy korean bbq (Y) officially one of the worst days since the start of hols for me and im just happy that its finally over.

times like these make me thank mummy so much for getting me an ipad so i can just lie in bed and play clash of clans till i fall asleep hahaha yayy~ ok i srsly have no life ugh time to find some hobbies sigh

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Fri, 03 May 2013 00:12:41 +0800

cracked: Caligula Vs. Joffrey

Thu, 02 May 2013 23:09:59 +0800

cracked:

Caligula Vs. Joffrey

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Mon, 29 Apr 2013 01:36:43 +0800

Last night, I finally realized how scared I actually was and how I had been trying to convince...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 01:32:45 +0800

Last night, I finally realized how scared I actually was and how I had been trying to convince myself that I was ok for the past week or so :’( sigh and I know its not merely psychological when I say that its becoming more prominent.

Just hoping that everything will be ok, painless, and quick haha. Feel really bad that everyone’s getting so worried for me and I really hope & trust that I’ll be ok. :) God has a reason for doing everything, including this, which has really taught me so much. I finally am able to really put myself in patients’ shoes and to see things from their POV - the fear and uncertainty that they face. What a timely reminder, really :’) and I really thank God for this.

On a sidenote, can’t wait for Shawn to end exams / overseas ppl to return!! I am on a mission to gain weighttttt haha yayyy food tripsssss <3

I tried so hard to help you, shield you, protect you, teach you, be there for you, and all you do in...

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 00:26:00 +0800

I tried so hard to help you, shield you, protect you, teach you, be there for you, and all you do in return is to scold me / throw me vulgarities / say that I have changed and am no longer as nice, that you never ever expect anything from me anymore, that you FORGOT your promise(s) to me (how convenient) and that I should never trust you ever again.

(and this is where the very cliche line comes in)

I’m not angry I’m just disappointed.

Really hurt and disappointed. (and I feel very stupid for doing the things I did for you of course)

Just needed to type this down in a post so that when I read back I can remind myself to guard my heart, to not trust so easily and to not be nice to people who don’t appreciate it. I know for now you think that you’re grown up and that you’re mature, and can make your own decisions. But its obv that you can’t, you have no control over your life and you’re struggling. I’ve been there, done that. And i know i’ve done wrong, so I don’t want you to make the same mistakes that I’ve made in the past. I’m just trying to help you to get your act tgt before you regret. And I hope you know its not very nice of you to get me so upset when I have other shit (real proper shit) that I’ve to worry about - and getting angry just makes the whole health problem thingy worse. And a more swollen nasty painful mass. Kthnxbai

picsandquotes: via picsandquotes

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 23:10:19 +0800

picsandquotes:

via picsandquotes

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Sat, 13 Apr 2013 22:45:35 +0800

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Sat, 13 Apr 2013 22:44:44 +0800

Wow time really flies!! We’ve come to the end of the “Medicine” part of CSFP and...

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 01:27:20 +0800

Wow time really flies!! We’ve come to the end of the “Medicine” part of CSFP and we’re left with “Surgery” for the next 2 weeks. Haha. CSFP has been tiring (mentally and physically), but rly fun and most importantly, meaningful. I rly thank God for posting our CG to KhooTeckPuat frankly! Its rly well balanced haha. Over there, we’re able to work hard, learn well, and play hard. :) The doctors are good teachers, the place is beautifullllll (6 gardens, many ponds with 79 species of fishes, gym, pool / table tennis table / Karaoke room / Xbox & Kinect room) and there is the yummy 925 chicken rice nearby HAHA. CSFP exam in 12 days though :( So scaryyyyy haha. Then its freedom after that!! Fingers crossed that I won’t need to do supps.. Cos i rly wanna be able to enjoy and relax during this last longest holiday that we have. (As well as prep a bit for the first posting in June!!)

There are times which I miss the old cg3 / having guo yuan & dng around, but ahwell i’m thankful that the new cg3 has been pretty nice too. There are some disagreements at times, but everyone tries to accommodate so phew no conflicts so far. :)

Its been rly eye opening so far, and I pray that God will continue to humble me, as well as keep me strong (emotionally). And in the long run (a few more years) I hope i’ll be able to help those who are weak, just like how Jesus did in the past.

haha SO CUTE

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 21:19:43 +0800

haha SO CUTE

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Mon, 01 Apr 2013 17:59:38 +0800

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Mon, 01 Apr 2013 17:59:07 +0800

New Love

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 01:13:00 +0800

We had our Clinical Skills Foundation Course this week and it was rly rly fun, learning how to do sutures, catheterization, give injections & IV drips, resuscitate hypoxemic patients and all. Just in time really, when all the studying for M2s pros just drained you of all your energy, confidence and your passion you had for med :)

And as the thought of us starting to hit the hospitals from next week onwards hit me, coupled with other things like listening to nic and dng’s conversation, it really dawned on me how our lives are just going to be so different and how life actually is just essentially very different for every single person, not just people doing med of course.

In some relationships, we always have those where 2 people are doing similar things / professions and can understand each other’s problems, victories, successes and all, just like my parents who get to work together and manage their firm together. For some people, this comes easily - both people just happen to be doing the same thing. But for others (even my parents) it often comes with some form of sacrifice. One person gives up his / her dream, to fulfill the other person’s dream and to live the other person’s life. “Is it worth it?”, some may ask. I don’t know haha. And I never really will, i guess. I used to think that everything was possible - leading a double life and trying to just be there in the other person’s step of the way for almost everything; trying to understand what the other person was going through whenever he was happy / sad / frustrated, trying to be there emotionally and physically for the other person, even if you knew that your presence wouldn’t rly make a difference to the outcome (and may even lower the productivity of the other person haha), wanting to know every single bit of the other person’s life so you could be there to comfort him or give him advice if and whenever he needed it. But recently I just realized how all these may actually be unhealthy(?), and how it somehow just makes you so vulnerable to the littlest things. You’re so used to being by the person’s side all the time, and when the day comes where you’re unable to be a part of that person’s life, you’re just unable to deal with it and you don’t know why. (and you start feeling weird / insecure of course) Was I happy, were we happy? Of course! Nothing beats spending time with your loved one, and doing things / sharing experiences and forming new memories together. But there will always be times where both people will just feel a sense of emptiness in their lives, because they’ll just be wondering about the individual dreams and goals that they had in the past but never managed to achieve because almost all their free time was spent catering to the other person’s needs. And thats when you think again, “Was it worth it?”

For 2 years i’ve been trying to keep up with this, and Shawn too. (and he prolly sacrificed more in the entire process, traveling to med always just to lunch with me / study with me) But from next week onwards, I don’t think this will be the case anymore haha. Which is a good, or bad thing, depending on how we look at it i guess. I’ll be at KTPH and he’ll continue being in NUS, and in aug he’ll fly to Netherlands for exchange (what most NUS students consider the best time of their uni days! And i am so glad that I’m genuinely excited and happy for him :)). I’m just happy that I finally realized how different both our goals / dreams are, how we were made for different things and how we are going to lead very different lives, find happiness in different things and that we just need to learn to respect and trust each other no matter what happens. :)

Its def not going to be easy, such a big change in the attitude and lifestyle and all, but I think its for the best. It doesn’t mean you love the person any less - in fact it just means you love and respect the person so much more that you want him to be able to do the things that he enjoys, and if he can only fulfill it with other people, you let him go and be happy for him. :)

Ok i’ve typed so much haha gtg sleep nowwww feverrrrrr :’(

Disney Princesses, all so unique in their own ways <3

Sun, 17 Mar 2013 01:09:00 +0800

Disney Princesses, all so unique in their own ways <3